Embracing Relationality in DEIB Work with Clients, Groups and Organizations: Insights from Brené Brown

8/1/2023

In recent years, focus on Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging (DEIB) has become a critical aspect of social progress and organizational success. To effectively navigate the complex landscape of DEIB work, we at Relational Life Foundation believe it is essential to approach it through a relational lens, fostering authentic connections and building meaningful relationships. To us this means moving slowly and acting with intention. We draw inspiration from the teachings of Brené Brown, a renowned researcher on vulnerability, courage, and human connection, as well as DEIB Specialist and Educator Deran Young, founder of Black Therapists Rock. A certified ‘Dare to Lead’ Facilitator and the driving force behind our DEIB efforts, Deran has worked closely with Brene Brown to develop her organization’s Belonging Statement. This blog explores the importance of relationality in DEIB work and provides practical insights for incorporating it in your personal life, as a therapeutic practitioner, and the communities of which you are part.

Recognizing the Power of Connection:
At the core of relationality in DEIB work lies the acknowledgment of the power of human connection. In her research, Brené Brown emphasizes that true belonging and inclusion cannot be achieved without genuine connections. From a Relational Life Therapy (RLT) perspective, this is spot on. To build a culture that values belonging and inclusion, we believe in prioritizing the development of relationships that foster trust, empathy, and understanding.

Embracing Vulnerability:
Vulnerability is an integral part of relationality and DEIB work. Brené Brown defines vulnerability as the courage to show up, be seen, and be heard when we have no control over the outcome. In RLT, we see this as a willingness to take risks in intimacy by asking for what we want, giving what we can and building in mechanisms of repair. By embracing vulnerability as a relational value, we have a chance at creating spaces where individuals can share their authentic experiences and perspectives without fear of judgment or rejection. Encouraging vulnerability helps foster an inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and heard.

Practicing Empathy:
Empathy plays a pivotal role in developing meaningful relationships and advancing DEIB initiatives. As Brené Brown explains, empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. RLT practitioners practice empathy in the therapy room, and teach it to clients, as it is essential for intimacy. By actively practicing empathy, we can cultivate a deeper understanding of others' experiences and perspectives, enabling us to address systemic biases and create more inclusive environments.

Engaging in Active Listening:
Active listening is a fundamental aspect of relationality in DEIB work. It involves attentively listening to others, suspending judgment, and seeking to understand their experiences and needs. As Brené Brown emphasizes, it is crucial to create spaces where people feel safe and empowered to express themselves. By actively listening, we demonstrate respect, validate diverse perspectives, and build stronger connections.

Cultivating Courageous Conversations:
DEIB work often requires engaging in courageous conversations that challenge the status quo and address sensitive topics. Brené Brown encourages us to embrace discomfort and lean into difficult conversations. In RLT, we teach the concept of “Full Respect Living” and harnessing the willingness to lean in when a relationship is tough for the sake of deeper intimacy. Relationality suggests that we approach these conversations with empathy, openness, and a readiness to learn from one another. By creating a safe space for dialogue, we foster an environment where diverse voices can be heard and growth can occur.

Building Trust:
Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship and is essential for effective DEIB work. Building trust involves consistent actions that align with inclusive values, transparency, and accountability. It also takes knowing the importance of repair– without which, trust can easily erode. Brené Brown's research highlights the importance of trust as a critical element of creating environments where people feel safe to be their authentic selves. Trust allows us to navigate challenging conversations and cultivate a sense of belonging and psychological safety within organizations and communities. In RLT, therapists are trained to gather as much data from their clients as possible before making any interventions. This allows ‘joining through the truth’ with incredible accuracy, which builds trust with clients because they feel we connect with their world from the very start of our work with them.

Conclusion
Incorporating relationality into DEIB work is essential for creating lasting change and fostering inclusive environments.

Terry Real's Relational Life principles offer valuable insights into navigating relationships which we are actively applying to RLT’s DEIB initiatives. Relational Life Therapy encourages individuals to take ownership of their actions, communicate effectively, and strive for mutual respect and understanding. These principles align closely with the core tenets of DEIB work, emphasizing the importance of open dialogue, empathy and active listening.

By integrating Relational Life concepts into our DEIB initiatives, we can deepen our understanding of systemic biases and power dynamics, challenge destructive relational patterns, and create a more inclusive and equitable environment. We are invited to examine our own behaviors, biases, and blind spots, and actively work towards building healthier relationships across differences.

DEIB work is an ongoing journey that requires continuous learning and evolution. Applying concepts from Brené Brown's research on vulnerability, empathy, and human connection, as well as utilizing tools from Terry Real's Relational Life Therapy, we can learn to cultivate authentic relationships, and honor diverse experiences and perspectives. Only then can the foundation be laid for a more equitable and inclusive future for all.

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