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Chiddie Anyasodo, a UK based therapist trained in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), with a unique background as a former engineer for global firms like Schlumberger, Baker Hugher, Siemens and Schneider Electric, has brought healing to her ancestral community by blending therapeutic principles with deep cultural wisdom , all from thousands of miles away. What Sparked a 19-Year Religious and Cultural Conflict in Nigeria?The conflict began 19 years ago when Christian community members destroyed a sacred shrine belonging to traditional worshippers in Chiddie Anyasodo’s hometown in Imo state, Nigeria. The act displaced traditional practitioners and fueled a long-standing struggle marked by manipulation, aggression, and deep generational wounds. As both sides hardened their positions with threats, accusations, violence and lawsuits, the community fractured. Local peace efforts failed, hindered by bias and entrenched power dynamics, leaving the people trapped in a cycle of violence and mistrust. How Did a Female Relational Life Therapist Begin Mediation in a Patriarchal Culture?Invited into this volatile situation despite being a woman in a deeply patriarchal culture, Chiddie began her peace work remotely through WhatsApp groups where tensions ran highest. She brought a disciplined blend of therapeutic insight and the diagnostic rigor of her engineering past, and her first move was to secure a community-wide 30-day ceasefire so there was enough psychological safety to speak without re-injury. Leveraging her mediation and RLT training, she mapped “losing strategies” harmful patterns of behavior born from fear and unregulated emotional responses. She called out destructive communication and set clear rules for respectful discourse, gaining reluctant trust by positioning herself humbly as a “daughter” rather than a leader, which disarmed defensive men and recalibrated power dynamics. Her approach braided psychoeducation with local tradition; instead of mocking spiritual frames, she embraced and honored them, even engaging with oracular language so the process spoke a tongue the community could hear. Day by day she worked with the vocal, most disruptive and hardened voices, helping them regulate triggers and return to problem-solving. How Did Relational Life Therapy Help Break Barriers and Build Bridges in a Cultural Conflict in Nigeria?The key turning point came when Chiddie Anyasodo introduced The Five Masquerades, a framework she developed by translating Terry Real’s ‘Five Losing Strategies’ into culturally resonant and gently humorous metaphors. By externalizing the conflict into mythical figures, she made it possible for community members to recognize, and even laugh at, their own patterns without the defensiveness that comes from shame. The same rooms that had been clenched by rigid righteousness began to laugh, then to change. As she puts it, when a room can laugh at a pattern, it can learn a new one; this is mentalising in plain clothes. Chiddie guided the community forward:
Why Is Relational Life Therapy Effective in Cross-Cultural Conflict Resolution?Chiddie’s work shows what becomes possible when a Western clinical framework such as RLT is translated into an indigenous grammar rather than imposed over it. Her tactical humility as a woman mediator in a male-dominated arena, and her insistence on one even standard for everyone, demonstrate how relational dynamics, handled with warmth and firm boundaries, can transform even the most entrenched conflicts. Her methods are reshaping her community and inspiring new ways to think about conflict resolution that honour both tradition and healing science. What Is the Lasting Impact of Chiddie Anyasodo’s Work as a Relational Life Therapist?As recognition grows, Chiddie is documenting a replicable framework and the stories that carry it. She is writing a book, The Festival of the Five Masquerades, and developing resources that can be adapted across cultures. This case validates Relational Life Therapy as a systems method: accountability with warmth, no-shame truth-telling, and the Wise Adult stance scale from the therapy room to the town square. Her RLT journey started with scholarship-supported training through the Relational Life Foundation and a leap of faith that empowered her to deploy RLT in a complex, real-world conflict and produced measurable shifts in weeks rather than years. And today she stands as a transformative figure creating real, lasting peace showing that thoughtful, culturally aware therapy can indeed change the world. Her story is a beacon of hope for communities grappling with division and trauma, a reminder that when love becomes culture, and standards are even, peace stops sounding naïve and starts reading like good governance. Showing us that when whole communities learn to think about feelings, history changes faster. More Blogs on Relational Life Therapy:Importance of Connection and Mutual Respect in Relationships The Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation in the United States Bridging Divides: Relational Health as the Foundation of a Just World Chiddie Anyasodo’s Story Continues on Facets of ConnectionAt Relational Life Foundation, we believe that the principles of Relational Life Therapy (RLT) extend far beyond couples and families; they hold the power to transform communities. To dive deeper into this vision, we invite you to listen to our podcast, Facets of Connection. One standout conversation features Chiddie Anyasodo, a Relational Life Therapist and peacebuilder who transitioned from a career in engineering to groundbreaking work in community reconciliation. In the episode, Chiddie shares how she helped resolve a decades-long conflict in her home village by blending RLT practices with cultural storytelling. Her creative “Five Masquerades” framework not only helped dismantle shame and resistance but also opened the door to humor, healing, and long-awaited peace. This dialogue is an inspiring reminder that relational courage and compassion can shift entrenched systems - whether within a marriage or across an entire community. 👉 Listen to Facets of Connection on YouTube and follow along on Instagram: www.instagram.com/facetsofconnection FAQsQ1. Who is Chiddie Anyasodo?
Chiddie Anyasodo is a UK-based Relational Life Therapist and peace facilitator with Nigerian roots, working at the intersection of psychoanalytic depth and community peacebuilding. She began her career in high-stakes oil and gas engineering, leading real-time diagnostics and strategy, an experience that honed her eye for the hidden relational dynamics behind systemic failure. She also specializes in personality disorders and complex trauma. Now a Doctoral Researcher in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, she created the “Five Masquerades,” a cultural translation of RLT’s losing strategies that helps people change behavior without shame. Q2. Can Relational Life Therapy be used beyond couples therapy? Yes. RLT’s core principles, the Wise Adult stance, accountability with warmth, and joining through the truth, are effective tools for regulating any human system, from family enterprises to corporate teams to entire communities. In Uru, Chiddie treated the community as a “macro-couple,” demonstrating how RLT can scale to repair deep, long-standing conflicts. Q3. Can humor really help in resolving conflict? Yes. Used respectfully, humor is a powerful de-escalation tool. It lowers defensiveness, eases tension, and opens the door to honest conversation. In Chiddie’s work, the “Five Masquerades” offers a gently humorous lens that helps people recognize destructive patterns without being overwhelmed by shame. As she puts it, “When a room can laugh at a pattern, it can change it.”
1 Comment
10/1/2025 04:44:31 pm
As a mental health advocate and author, and a continuous improvement expert, this is a remarkable feat!!!
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AuthorSarah Melissa Oswald |
