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I Love You, But… Why We Get Stuck in Relationship Uncertainty

Name: I Love You, But… Why We Get Stuck in Relationship Uncertainty
Start: 2026-09-10

Community Conversation

What happens when we love someone, but aren’t sure what we want the relationship to look like anymore?

September 10, 2026 Online recording

About this event

What happens when we love someone, but aren’t sure what we want the relationship to look like anymore?

Relationship uncertainty can show up in many forms: a couple caught between staying together and separating, an adult child questioning how much contact they want with a parent, or someone trying to balance cultural and family expectations with their own needs. We can find ourselves pulled toward connection and distance at the same time, sometimes staying in that in-between space for months or even years.

In this Community Conversation, Lyn Martin is joined by Josh Connolly and Umme Kawser to explore why we get stuck in relationship uncertainty and what can help us begin to understand it differently.

Bringing perspectives from Relational Life Therapy, Discernment Counseling, trauma and family dynamics, and work within South Asian communities, the panel will look at the many forces that can shape uncertainty: attachment, trauma, neurodivergence, culture, family roles, loyalty, relational patterns, and the very real consequences of either staying or leaving.

Together, we’ll explore what relationship uncertainty is trying to tell us, why simply pushing for a decision often doesn’t work, and how we can support people in finding greater clarity without deciding for them what their relationships should become.

This conversation is for clinicians and anyone interested in understanding what happens when love, connection, and uncertainty all exist at the same time.

Watch the recording

Facilitators

Lyn Martin

Host

Lyn Martin, LMFT, is a couples therapist specializing in relationships at the crossroads of staying, leaving, and figuring out what comes next. As a Discernment Counseling Master Practitioner with advanced training in Relational Life Therapy (RLT), she works with couples experiencing relationship uncertainty, complex trauma, neurodivergence, and deeply entrenched relational patterns. Her work integrates attachment, trauma, and systemic perspectives, with particular attention to how identity, culture, neurodivergence, and past experiences shape the ways people protect themselves and connect in intimate relationships. Lyn has a particular interest in working with couples whose relationships don’t fit neatly into traditional therapy models, including mixed-agenda couples, queer and consensually non-monogamous relationships, and couples where trauma and neurodivergence intersect. In addition to her clinical work, Lyn provides training and consultation to therapists working with couples considering separation or divorce. She is the founder of Attached Marriage & Family Therapy and provides therapy and consultation in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut.

Josh Connolly

Panelist

Josh Connolly, an Amazon bestselling author, has taken the mental health world by storm with his groundbreaking book, "It’s Them, Not You: How to Break Free from Toxic Parents and Reclaim Your Story." This transformative guide provides readers with essential tools and guided breathwork sessions to overcome toxic family dynamics and heal from past trauma. Renowned as one of the UK’s top mental health advocates, Josh connects with nearly half a million followers, delivering powerful insights and strategies. His workshops, ranging from local schools to some of the biggest brands in the world, empower individuals to connect deeply with their emotions and intuition. As an ambassador for Nacoa, Josh passionately supports those affected by parental alcohol issues, driving significant advancements in mental health awareness and support.

Umme Kawser

Panelist

Umme Kawser’s work sits at the intersection of cultural context, relationship health, and practical support that can reach families at scale. She is currently a PhD candidate in Couple and Family Therapy in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota, and she helped establish Bangladesh’s first university-based family therapy clinic at the University of Dhaka, where she previously served as Assistant Professor in Educational and Counseling Psychology. Her commitment to accessible care has also taken public-facing forms. She served as Program Executive for Bangladesh’s inaugural suicide prevention and emotional support helpline, Kaan Pete Roi, contributing to early efforts to make emotional support more reachable when it is most needed. Trained in systemic family therapy, Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy, EMDR, play therapy, and discernment counseling, Kawser focuses on culturally grounded, evidence-informed relationship and family support. A central strand of her leadership is the cultural adaptation of Doherty’s Marital First Responder program for Bangladeshi contexts. Her scholarship has appeared in leading journals in the field, including the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy (2025), The American Journal of Family Therapy (2024), and the International Journal of Systemic Therapy (2024). In 2025, she served as Summer Graduate Instructor and External Clinical Supervisor for the Marriage & Family Therapy program at UW–Stout. She is a Gold Medalist in Educational and Counseling Psychology (2013) and has received the Mental Health First Aid Best Performance Award (2016), Waller Awards (2023–25), the Frances Dunning Scholarship (2023), the Ruth S. Brown Scholarship (AY 2024–25), and the Jeanette Paul Scholarship (2024–25).